Amore a la Animal

The Daily Telegraph recently reported on Tasmanian Devils ‘online dating’ at Taronga Zoo. Keepers at the zoo have been virtually mating the endangered species with other devils across the globe to see if their offspring is genetically favourable ahead of mating for real.

It got us thinking about the animal kingdom – whilst we don’t anticipate we’ll be seeing any Tasmanian Devils on Oasis anytime soon, there are some interesting lessons we can learn.

Here’s our top five lessons in dating from the animal kingdom:

  1. Perfume power

Male Orchid Bees are known to travel far and wide collecting scents from various locations to win the affections of the female Orchid Bees.

In a similar process used by parfumiers, the bees trap scent molecules by coating them in a fatty substance. Once several scents have been collected, the male bee travels back and performs a display during which he fans his aroma to females passing by.

The lesson: Get spritzing with your favourite scent. Whether you’re a guy or gal, smelling good is a must before you head out the door. If you’re not game for going in strong with your fave fragrance, having a shower and applying some deodorant is an absolute must!

  1. Dress to impress

Ahh…one of the animal kingdoms most beautiful displays, a male peacock in full bloom (or should it be plume), strutting his stuff for the benefit of the ladies. Peacocks have oversized tails covered in a multitude of multi-coloured feathers which are there purely to attract the attention of their female counterparts.

These birds look the part with the feathers and colours a sign of health and tail waving and strutting a sign of strength.

The lesson: Get your best threads out and walk into your first date confident and proud. Think like a peacock, act like a peacock, become a peacock and bag yourself a mate!

  1. Dating dance

In the American Tropics, the Manakin Bird slips on its Cuban heels in a bid to entice a partner. When wooing the ladies, Manakin Birds find themselves a stage, usually a branch, and give their best display of what looks astonishingly like the Moonwalk.

The lesson: Throughout the entire animal kingdom, elaborate displays are bopped, boogied, skipped and swayed in a bid to secure a partner. Why the hell should it be any different for humans! Take advice from the Manakin Bird and understand your jiving skills may or may not be the clincher when you meet your online match. To be safe, make sure you’re wearing your best dancing shoes in case you need to give an impromptu performance to seal the deal!

  1. House rules

Those love-smart birds are at it again. The native Australian Bowerbird has a passion for decorating and works to create the most lavish, spectacular and sparkly nest known to man.

Flowers, leaves, acorns as well as man-made items such as lost trinkets, coins, aluminium cans, plastic, and other rubbish are sourced and just so. The female birds scour the bowers of potential mates and then decide which one they like based on the best decorated digs.

The lesson: It would be silly to suggest building a new house will bag you a guy or gal however, neat and tidy is the best way to present your living quarters to your prospective partner. Make sure the bathroom is clean, the dishes are done and your laundry is away before inviting your significant other over for coffee. And only after you’ve met them in person beforehand, of course!

  1. Sweet serenade

With a voice as low as Barry White’s, Koalas are known to sing their way to domestic bliss.

Male Koalas rumble, snort, grunt and groan for as long as possible in the lowest and loudest tone as a way of scaring off the competition and to attract female mates. It’s believed that the lower the grumble, the bigger the Koala, so females seek out these dulcet tones, often travelling outside of their home territory to mate.

The lesson: The male Koala sings sweet music to attract his mate. While we don’t suggest anyone squawking, groaning or squeaking their way to a date, music is a huge part of the getting-to-know-you process and similar music tastes and ideals can mean similar values. Instead of making your own music and singing to your new date why not make a mixtape of your favourite tunes and see if you’re a match made in heaven.

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